How Not To Start Your Holiday

I’m sitting by the poolside with my feet up on a chair.

It’s just over 8 hours since we flew into the air.

It’s lovely, hot and sunny but at 3am this morning,

we were up and getting ready, well before the day was dawning.

It was chaos at the airport and I’m not sure what went wrong,

but two queues of people checking in, and both a good mile long.

We asked a rep which queue to join, she checked our time of flight

and said; “looking at the left queue, I suggest you join the right”.

We queued for twenty minutes but we didn’t progress much,

then, being told to join the left queue was the final touch.

So of to join the other queue, which by now, was gigantic

and full of people late for flights, the atmosphere was frantic.

Another forty minutes and still no-where near the desk

when all people booked on our fight were given a request,

to go straight to another desk to speed us to our gate,

and help the plane set off on time, instead of being late.

So off we trot and all is good, we check our baggage in,

then go over to security, where more troubles begin.

Out of all the trays sent through, you’ve guessed, mine was selected,

someone had spotted something wrong, so it had been rejected.

Another queue to claim my bag, then open it up wide,

to show the nice security man what I’d got inside.

My Ipad and my GHD’s both had to be removed,

and put separately into the tray to be scanned and approved.

Then my tray was trolleyed back so it could be rescanned.

despite my detailed organising, this, I hadn’t planned.

The second scan, my tray’s rejected, cast aside in vain,

my handbag got sent through alone, the big bag scanned again.

My Handbag made it through ok I’m very glad to say,

but OMG the big bag got sent through the other way.

By now the clock is ticking, only half an hour to go,

just how we’d make the gate on time, by then, I didn’t know.

Even the nice security man, feeling for my plight,

gave us the nod and let us go, to try and make our flight.

We made it to the gate, with not a minute left to spare.

We took our seats and buckled up, then flew into the air.

Although we set off late, we managed to arrive on time,

the transfer uneventful and the weather is sublime.

Unpacking’s done, had lunch and now enjoying a few beers,

not to mention a few vodkas, Happy Holidays, Three Cheers!