Lilo Lil

I’m lying on my sunbed and the sun is beating down.

I’m using factor thirty and I’m hoping I go brown.

Some people just don’t bother and use factor four or less.

If I did that, I’d go bright red and end up in a mess.

And don’t forget the prickly heat, I sometimes get that too,

but packing anti-histamines, is what I always do.

We’re only here a week this time, I’m doing all I can,

to lay out on the sunbed and try to get a tan.

It’s so hard to get comfortable, lying on the bed,

especially lying on my front, where do I put my head?

Cause if I turn to one side, half my face misses the sun,

I have to keep on turning so my tan’s evenly done.

It isn’t long before I get a huge crick in my neck,

and when I try to get up, I feel like a total wreck.

Sometimes I prop myself up, on my elbows, look around,

It’s not the best position for a good view, I have found.

Especially when the sunbeds are positioned very close,

some sights can be horrific and some are just plain gross.

I find it disconcerting, when I think how far I’ve come,

to find the view I’m facing, is the crack of someone’s bum.

Give me a lilo any day and place it in the pool,

I splash myself with water to keep comfortably cool.

The art of getting on one, I’ve now got down to a ‘T’

both in the hotel swimming pool and floating in the sea.

It’s tricky turning over though, to tan the other side,

especially when I’m in the sea and fighting with the tide.

It’s easier to get off then, to get back on again,

If any kind of dignity I’m hoping to retain.

So you can keep your sunbeds, and sunbathe how you will,

On holiday I’m happy to be known as ‘Lilo Lil’